Anna Smith:

A Change in Blogging

2009-12-22T22:00:00.000-08:00

Hey friends! So I have switched over to wordpress and now have a new blog..check it out if you'd like! Thanks for reading, love you guys!

-Anna

The FDTS09

2009-10-24T17:48:00.000-07:00

I am so blessed to have these students.

Week 6 of DTS

2009-10-24T17:26:00.000-07:00

Well, I have managed to somehow how blog in the past 5 weeks of the Fall DTS. So in my attempts to quickly catch up, I might miss a few details.

So Far...

The Fall Discipleship Training School has been amazing thus far! We have had speakers come in and speak on the following topics for one week at a time:

Week 1- Orientation (some of the staff taught on mini topics; I taught on Worship)
Week 2- What you need to know about Christianity
Week 3- Prayer
Week 4- The Father Heart of God
Week 5- Relationships

We are now entering week 6 and this week we have the amazing opportunity to take the entire school (staff and students = 80 people) to Portland, Oregon for a "mini outreach" week. This week we will partner with local church ministries and such, to bring the love of Christ to the people of Portland! I am excited for this week and look forward to blogging about it when I get back!

So that is the brief side of things. When I return home from Portland, I look forward to being more regular with blogging + pictures! Bless you guys and thanks for taking a minute to catch up with me!

oh Borders...

2009-08-20T21:08:00.000-07:00

I went to BORDERS today to "slow down". AND IT WAS AMAZING!! I more or less just sat there drinking coffee and looking at mindless magazines. My entire morning was dedicated to preparing for the Fall DTS and looking over more applications(We are at 48 students now!) To relax at BORDERS was the perfect solution for me to take it easy today and to "de-stress" It is now 10:00pm and I feel MORE than ready for the bed!! The Spring DTS had their graduation tonight and for me, that meant one thing: "THE FALL SCHOOL IS COMING UP SO QUICKLY!!!"

And here goes the shameless confession...I buy coffee at THIS coffee shop rather than Borders, whenever I go to Borders....This is my favorite coffee in Montana!!

slowing down

2009-08-19T08:10:00.001-07:00

Well, we are about 4 and a half weeks away from the Discipleship Training School starting up! So far we have 43 students accepted and 14 staff that
are ready and excited for the school to get goin! For the next 4 and a half weeks, we will have time for staff training as well as preparation time for the students to come! Next week we have an All-Base staff retreat in which all of the staff will get together from Monday-Wednesday to seek God together and in a sense, dedicate this next Quarter to Him! I am excited for this time to fellowship with staff (140 of them!) as well as have time to seek the Lord and His purposes for the Fall Quarter. I pray that this will be a time of refreshment and encouragement as it usually is the time of year that everyone looks forward to the most!

Lately I have felt challenged to really "slow down". So often I get caught up in the schedule of the school prep and get lost in the details, but I have felt SO strongly more recently, to use the evenings to relax and reflect on the day...to...slow down. I don't want to miss what God is saying in these days of prepartion for the school and it is my prayer that I would learn even more so to see the beauty in the calmness....because pretty soon it is going to get CRAZY!:) I have been reading through the Old Testament and currrently I am reading the Samuels. I have been thinking about how Samuel must have felt the first time he heard God call him...seek him out...pursue him. I am in a place right now where I want to spend some time and reflect on the time when I knew that God called me...and sought me out and pursued me. He still does all of these things but I want to remember that one moment when I knew that my life would never be the same.
I am going to spend some time and do that today and I guess my challenge for you would be: Think back to that one moment when you KNOW that God called you...and that one moment when your response was not just "Here I am" rather "Speak for your Servant is listening".

Something that I love about YWAM is the emphasis on Hearing the Voice of God! What an AMAZING thing that when God speaks, we can HEAR HIM, we can LISTEN to what he says and we can RESPOND to His calling.

God called me a long time ago and my prayer is that my entire life would be lived in such a way that I am "responding" to Jesus. I think I will meditate on that thought today.

Please Pray for Taiwan

2009-08-12T09:16:00.000-07:00

As you all know, Southern Taiwan has been devastated by a Typhoon. Please join me in praying for the people of Southern Taiwan. I spent 10 months in Taiwan and it is a country that is very much on my heart.

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/08/typhoon_morakot.html

home.

2009-08-06T10:13:00.000-07:00

(This picture was designed by Maurenilson Freire)

There really is...no place like home. I have found myself in several different conversations about Heaven lately...and it makes me long for that sort of satisfaction and elation that Jesus has for us there. The reason why I do what I do (missions) is because I want others to experience this longing for Jesus and then, in time...find themselves completely satisfied in HIM. For the past few weeks I have been doing the "Daniel Fast". For a few reasons, but mainly because I want to be in this place where the spiritual and the physical in my life marry. I feel that too often I have separated the two and I feel this huge disconnect in my heart and in my mind. Mind you...there will always be the "flesh nature" BUT I want to be in a place of intimacy with Jesus that in all areas in my life, I am completely connected to Jesus...not just in times of worship or prayer. I want to be connected with Jesus at every meal, at every recreational activity, when I watch a movie and when I cook...when I struggle and when I feel victorious. The first week of the Daniel Fast was absolutely terrible..I felt that, instead of experiencing this connectedness to Jesus, I felt a separation. After getting over the first week (in which my body was just completely shocked and pretty much hating me...BUT GOOD!! I'm glad that it hated me that first week because it cannot control me anymore) something happened the second week...I felt this incredible desire to just be with Jesus...a longing in a sense, was manifesting in my heart. A longing to be with Jesus, to be completely satisfied in Him and Him alone...rather than letting my flesh yet again, control and "satisfy" temporarily. I am unsure of how much longer I will continue the fast...at least 21 days and from there I will pray about where to go. I just know...this has been THE RICHEST time I have had with Jesus in a long time, and I long for home.

P.S- The DTS starts in 6 and a half weeks!!

it's coming!

2009-06-03T13:33:00.000-07:00

.get ready for some serious documentation of summer....lots in store for the next few months.

I've got to remember this

2009-02-07T15:28:00.000-08:00

It is absolutely amazing to me how I simply cannot keep up on this blog. I find it so difficult because I loose track of what
I have already shared on facebook or through personal emails and when it comes to the blog, I just feel like I am repeating myself. There are so many different avenues of communication and keeping up on others lives...but that being said, I want to try again to reunite with this blogspot. So, here I am welcoming myself back to my blog.

Where have I been?

Well, catching up with the last entry, I am still in Turner Valley Canada. The 5 month Discipleship Training School is coming to an end as the school has just returned from a 2 month outreach. I was a part of a team of 4 who went to Thailand for 6 weeks. Following Thailand, we came back to Canada to catch up with the other half of the school who spent 6 weeks in Canada for outreach. We came together as 1 team and ministered in a place called Ft. McMurray. When I tell my Canadian friends that we went to Ft. McMurray for 2 weeks they usually respond with something like..."WHY? Blah"....After being there for 2 weeks, I now understand their abrupt responses. Ft. McMurray is a mining town and one in which people from all over come to for work. It is also one of the most populated towns when it comes to homeless people. In short, Ft. McMurray broke my heart and showed me a piece of God's heart for the broken. I feel that I could write forever about outreach, and hopefully I can add some little stories here and their as I reminisce about these past 8 weeks.

Now what?

This week we are having a week of debriefing in which the students will learn more about how to transition into their home,schools,friends and family...and some, how to pursue their heart for missions. After the week of debriefing, the staff will go on a 'Debriefing Retreat' where we will process the last 5 months of the school...and hang out with each other...I am really looking forward to this....yes please. When I get back from the retreat, I will then go back to the YWAM base in Montana where I will continue to work in the DTS (Discipleship Training School) Department. I then will start preparing for the Fall DTS in Montana, as I will be leading that school.

Okay, thats it for now...More to come soon. I mainly just feel much better about making contact with this blog. :)

Thailand!!

2008-12-07T15:46:00.000-08:00

Hey Everyone! Well, here we are, in Chaing Mai Thailand! We arrived here around something ridiculous like 2:00 AM Sunday night (Thai time). The team is doing well...and had their first Thailand outrageous amounts of people in once space, experience last night...(The Sunday Market for those of you who know Chaing Mai)

We are staying in a beautiful guest house for about a week here in Chaing Mai and we will be doing alot of intercession for the ministry here as well as hanging out with the local people here in our neighborhood and preparing English teachings for our time later in Napajat. After our week in Chaing Mai, we will go to a place called Mai Ai and there we will be separating and living with different families and basically just do what they do (work with them in the fields, cook with them, hang out with their family etc...) After Mai Ai, we will then go to a place called Pai and will be there for a week and a half. Pai is where we will be doing alot of Christmas programs and evangelism--from my understanding, Pai is kind of a hippie town soo hopefully that calls for a guitar, and me sitting on a curb singing Christmas carols ridiculously loud...and THEN after Pai we will go to a village called Napajat and teach English in the primary school there! So this is roughly the schedule for the next month and a half...the team is adapting so so well and it has been really fun showing them some of my favorite Thai things and converting them to love "more abstract" things...

Something that I personally am learning about is intimacy with Jesus. I've been thinking and wondering lately just how intimate Jesus was with the Father...just how clearly he heard His voice...how dependent he was on God and how absolutely important it was to do just as the Father did....I want to understand and experience more of this intimacy right now in Thailand.

VISION

2008-08-26T15:50:00.001-07:00

These white keys just seem to get darker and darker...used and abused for assignments, letters, songs, lectures, notes, pages of nonsense, lines of brilliance and phrases of naivety…only this time….nothing quite seems to fit the occasion of monotone clicking except one thing, one idea, one word: Vision.

At one point, it felt as though my life was just myself, holding a hose and aiming it towards the ocean. Now, aside from creating pockets of brackish water and completely terrifying every little minnow and hermit crab…for some time, I have seen the term “vision” like this…and if the vision is not great enough, doesn’t have enough man power, then it is like holding a garden hose and aiming it at the ocean. But MAN…it is SO NOT. Because what IS vision anyway? Of course there is the dictionary def. which is….. “The act or power of anticipating that which will or may come to be” but beyond this….My heart has SO been stirred with the question “What does it mean to have vision or to be visionary or to get vision? The only conclusion that I come to is that there is absolutely no harm in dreaming big. In DTS Equip this question came up many times : “If you had unlimited resources and nothing holding you back, what would you do?” This question often times left me sitting in my chair just dreaming and dreaming and dreaming…and what that led to was anticipation and an very real awareness of the power and presence of God.

We gotta dream big guys…Some of us may be the garden hose holders and or perhaps some of us are the bottle throwers…Those who write the vision down and put it in a bottle, aim it towards the ocean as we cross our fingers and pray that it arrives safely in someone else’s hands. So the question stands: Do you believe that the vision you have is too small, to undoable…or are you in a place that you are praying for more vision…or perhaps simply ANYTHING that resembles vision…or do you have the vision and feel like you are incapable…wherever you find yourself…. wherever I find myself, we MUST cling to the truth: There is no vision too small and no dream to large to overwhelm or un-impress the heart of God.

Oh, Canada

2008-08-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

Well, here I am. Laying on my bed with the window open…I can hear the wind as it makes friends with the trees, and the river that is rushing wildly through the rocks. I look out the window and it is as if I have laid a blanket beneath the stars….This is home…for now. I arrived in Turner Valley, Alberta Saturday morning and God has met me here….as soon as I got here it was almost as if God was saying “I’ve been waiting for you”. It has not been the easiest thing in the world preparing for this fall DTS, but it HAS indeed been both humbling and faith building. I have really enjoyed this process/newness of leading a school. (I hope I can say that when the school ACTUALLY starts…haha)
Today I probably had too much fun…messing with the budget, seeing what we can take out in order to add more in (sounds ironic and brain exploding…but fun nonetheless.) I have never been one for math or anything that resembles numbers for that matter…but I am finding now, that being a “visionary” I need to get good with numbers so that stuff can happen. (And THAT was probably the most ineloquent thing I’ve said thus far…High School English class, you have failed me)

Ultimately, things are coming together. I have most of the speakers lined up and the schedule is starting to resemble a phrase I have become best friends with… “U of N Curriculum” oh yes people, this is a glorious straight edge that I come back to quite often…not “like a dog returns to its vomit” but more like “Like Anna returns to the coffee”.

So, here it stands: 3 and a half weeks to prepare for the school, 3 and a half weeks to prepare the way of the Lord, 3 and a half weeks to set the class room, 3 and a half weeks to set up the table for Jesus to come and dine with us…I am both excited and nervous. Come Lord.

Here’s a song that I’ve had on repeat lately: “With Everything” by Hillsong.

"I'm with you"

2008-08-15T19:31:00.000-07:00

Well, one week from today I will be venturing off to Turner Valley Canada to re-pioneer/lead the DTS. This week has been an incredible week of preparation and also an incredible week of questions and silences. Today I was praying and felt the Lord speak so clearly to me this: "Anna, we are in this together". This word is one that will carry me for years and years as this feels like the beginning stages of "pioneer life". I feel like God is handing this opportunity to me, and saying "What you are feeling is what it will feel like in the future, BUT.....I'm with you"

Today I have cried, laughed, sat uncomfortably silent, filled dull spaces in my day with worship music blasting, almost fell out of a hammock, talked to good friends on the phone, listened while my dad living in NC encouraged me, baked cookies, forgot about cookies baking and went for a walk (oops), emailed potential speakers, cried some more, cleaned the kitchen, read a paragraph in a book, went to the store, cried in front of some of my favorite people in the world, talked with a friend about big dreams while laying on the 15 year old carpet in my house, took a nap, cried some more and then..in the midst of other random activity, heard the Lord speak...."Anna, we are in this together, I'm with you". It is amazing to me how so much emotion can happen in one day...It makes me sit back and think "oh...my gosh, I didn't know this was possible...and the more cynical side of me is thinking...is that what it is like to be in a relationship?! haha...." But seriously...if God is not in this, I don't want it...but heres the beautiful part..HE IS IN THIS! I am getting more and more excited for this adventure with Him---with an absolute AMAZING staff (6 staff) and 5 students that I am thrilled to meet....This DTS is going to run!! Every day I hear in the back of my mind, or probably actually in my heart..the words that Jeremy West said all throughout DTS Equip: "You are a disciple first, always". THIS is why this school can happen with 6 staff and 5 students...because we are all learners, we are all disciples and we are all HIS.
A verse that I have been meditating on for quite some time is this:

John 5:19- Jesus gave them this answer: "I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.

What is on His Heart

2008-08-14T08:32:00.000-07:00

This week has been pretty busy as I am continuing to put together the curriculum for the DTS....
I have been so very challenged lately through a friend's example to really ask God "God, what is on your heart for this school...for this hole in schedule, for this week that needs a speaker, for this hour, for this teaching...." It all sounds pretty simple..praying. But for some reason this time I can feel it...I feel God's grace as He is teaching me how to set up a school, I feel his patience when I ask Him the same question over and over again....and I am learning to simply sit before him and wait. Intimacy...a new level of intimacy is rising and I'm not sure that my heart can keep up with it.

I bought the new Hillsong CD and there is a song that has been on repeat for an hour now and the lyrics are simply this:

"The same power that conquered the grave, lives in me, lives in me, Your love that rescued the earth lives in me"

heroes of the faith

2008-08-13T15:28:00.000-07:00

let it be known, greatness dwells
in the weakest of soldiers
covering bombs with their helmets
rescuing strangers
and sparing enemies
love.
recognized by a passerby who chose the other road
and remains unknown, unseen
courage and valor are the laces on their shoes
merely keeping their stance secure.

we run
to meet the ones in the mountains
miles and miles away
and we reach high
for heavens rain drops to touch earth
replenishing our withering hearts
we tire and we faint
but we love.
passion explodes in our veins
and our bleeding bodies resonate
love.
but, we do not know suffering

but they..
they know suffering
they know the sounds of extinction
and the kiss of death
they meet the ones in the mountains, mountains
days and days away
and they reach high
for heaven on earth
their hearts are strong
they faint not
for they are love.
angels carry them in the dark
and they surrender not to the pangs of death
but to the promise of life everlasting.
living lives of honor
in the face of unpromising circumstance.
no compromise
they are the heroes of the faith.
they love when love hides in the walls of fear.
and they lay before the face of fear
and say "Life is found in death".

WHAT DO YOU SEE?

2008-08-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

this one day in Equip...

2008-07-07T16:08:00.000-07:00

I want it, I want it all. His grace, His light, His wisdom, His ideas, His attention, His love....

I was in class today just thinking about Jesus...trying to think more about Jesus (more appropriately worded) and I had this picture in my mind of me flipping a light switch on...and no matter how many times i flipped it, the light would not turn on because there was no bulb.

I cannot, with my strength, flip the switch hard enough to turn on.
I cannot, with agility, flip it over and over in order to produce light
I cannot, with my mind, will the light into existence
Or with my heart, woo or manipulate it into shining brightly for me
I cannot with my fingers, snap the bulb into being
Or with my mouth, speak it into the socket
Or clap on clap off.....

I want Jesus to be the center...always. He IS light...and in this particular picture, HE was the light bulb...and without Him, I am nothing...without Him nothing happens...nothing is exposed, nothing is illuminate, nothing is set free, nothing...nothing even happens.

2 other things hit me with this picture...

1. Because He IS so worthy, because He is the center....it shouldn't be about "trying to figure out the plan for my life" but more like...recognizing that my life IS "the plan".

2. Submission to God means letting everything be nothing so that He can be everything.

"leave the light on, i'll never give up on you"- John Mayer

Relevant Magazine Article

2008-07-01T12:20:00.000-07:00

Here is something I wrote a while back for Relevant Magazine...check it out

http://relevantmagazine.com/god_article.php?id=7442

A Season Worth Finishing Well

2008-06-04T14:21:00.000-07:00

Well--I have been staffing the School of Biblical Studies with YWAM Montana for almost 9 months now. As we are nearing the end of this 9 month Inductive Bible Study School, I am looking back on the beginning, where it all started. The beginning, where my heart was racing with both nervousness and excitement for a 9 month Journey with the body of Christ. And here I am....looking back and smiling at the absolute mystery of God's will, the beauty of His creation, the jealousness of his love and the mercy of his forgiving hand. I can HONESTLY say that I have NOT ONLY seen students change as the Word of God convicts them, inspires them and ruins them for the ordinary, but I have changed---dramatically. And though it has not been the easiest process it has been a process that has proven itself BEYOND just being "worth it". I have learned from my students how to love in spite of major crisis and hardships, I have learned how to disciple people in a way that goes much deeper than simply having a conversation with them...I have learned how to let God lavish his love on me despite my fleshly resistance at times...I have learned from my students how to work diligently and love consistently. This has been SUCH a wonderful class to teach, disciple and live with for the past 9 months and though I am sad to see them all pack up and leave in 3 weeks; I am more so EXCITED as MANY of them are taking HUGE steps with Jesus. Whether that be moving overseas for an undetermined amount of time, or continuing on with their education or going home to serve in their home town....I see the possibilities for them being endless because they are such a group that truly pursues the things that are on the heart of Jesus.

With 3 weeks left, I have one more book that I get to teach! The book that I will be teaching will be JOB. I am excited to teach this book as it is one of my favorites because it is a book that pushes me to recognize the absolute power and majesty of God in tangible ways. I look forward to keeping up with whoever reads this blog...More to come from this side :-)

honest, honesty, honestly

2008-03-24T10:04:00.000-07:00

Who among us have ever responded to the question "can i be honest", with nice blunt "heck no"? Unless we are incredibly terrified at the reprocautions of honesty, most if us are quick to say "of course". Among other things, I have been thinking about honesty alot. I think about the times where i have been honest only to look into the eyes staring back at me and see that my honesty has either freaked them out, or confused them miserably. And then there are those moments where as we have recklessly poured out our hearts and souls, with all honesty, to find that maybe all we get is a sincere "hmm", or rather a "wow....".

But maybe that "hmm" and that "wow" is actually the only response plausible as your honesty has both challenged and intrigued the person in front you. I find that sometimes the best response to honesty is a simple "hmm"...

What is it that we are expecting in being honest with people? What is the response that we want? Honesty can be quite a miserable thing. It can be something that exposes everything we have worked to hide and cover up. It sheds light on areas and "issues" that we have wrestled with for maybe our entire lives. I was talking with a friend about honesty today and as I was talking i realized that honesty, though temporarily may lead us to feel miserable, is actually so very very brave.

So heres to bravery---knocking on the doors of honesty in order that we may all truly experience the freedom we were made for.

i broke my phone today.
and can i be honest...
i shouldn't be allowed to have a cell phone...ever.

thankGodforspacebars

2008-03-20T01:08:00.000-07:00

if it weren’t for them, how would we ever distinguishbetweenwordsphrasesthoughtsandsentences

It seems like even the little things in life such as typing and writing, demand us to take a second or perhaps more appropriately, a space in order for our minds to fully, quickly and accurately understand what is before us….who is before us.

Stoplights
Deer crossing the road
Life’s unexpected interruptions and diversions
The moment before drinking your tea
Deciding to jump into the freezing glacier lake
Staring at the ceiling before closing your eyes for the night
Getting the hiccups
2 seconds before the prayer is done
Letting someone get in front of you
Looking at someone else’s whiteboard and all of its flare
Yawning in mid sentence
Having to untie your shoes in order to tie them again
Waiting for an open sink to spit your toothpaste out of your mouth
The second before the song of your life is played
The moment when eyebrows raise and words are forgotten
The hesitancy before walking on ice

Sometimes we don’t pause to think, we just…pause.
For a second
Or a millisecond
Or even a minute that feels like 10.

Whether it is a natural phenomenon of life’s beauty that reflects our creator..... or an annoying and ridiculously inconvenient happening, sometimes we just might have to pause for a moment…and what matters most perhaps is not what made us pause, but what we do in that very moment…stop. Recognize the presence of Jesus here in this moment.

I read that on average we breath 14 times a minute…so 14 times in a minute we pause without thinking as our lungs inhale and exhale…today breathing reminded me of the presence of God...every inhale….is Jesus.

put it in the grace processor

2008-01-13T15:27:00.000-08:00

we are children
wonderment and ignorance collide
irrationality at its heights...
wanting to be held....at an oceans distance
fragmented dreams and unrecognizable pictures crushed by even our own heroic attempts
the winner of every game---no rules, no logic
the instigator of petty alliances and exclusions
...we wrap ouselves in fear
and pray that we can feel a breeze...
walking around eyes shut, heart closed, hands out...

and yet we still receive...

how could i ever walk away...from this God...who
makes this life worth it.
why would i ever doubt His strength
He lifts the world up
and suspends it on his fingers
weak i come
throwing myself uninhibitedly before a king
whose father like heart fascinates me and...

i lay i lay i lay i lay my heart down before you God.

So, November.

2007-11-03T12:32:00.000-07:00

Well it is November as we are all very aware of, but i remembered that I have not written on my blog page in quite some time. So, in light of that i figured it would be appropriate to write something new :-) So to bring everyone up to date, we are currently in week 7 of the SBS! Last week I taught the book of Acts in the morning session and it is actually up on the web if you are interested in listening to it!

Here is the link...
http://www.lectures.ywammontana.net/sbs/lectures
Click on 2007/2008 and then click on the morning session.

We have a month and a half until Christmas break and so in the mean time i will be grading students work, teaching in the
Discipleship Training School as well as preparing for the next book that I will be teaching (Exodus).

I know this is short but i just wanted to give a quick little update :-) I will be writing again soon, probably this week actually and hopefully including some new photos and stories!

love yall!! :-)

no subject

2007-11-01T20:20:00.000-07:00

stoplights syncronized seconds
wait.
i sit and i stare from above at the cities on fire
as they burn slowly, brighty...
content in their placement
i jealously watch and listen
for the breeze to ignite the fading ember
we are not the only ones that crave the wind..

campfires--
they give us reason to prolong our glance
and yet somehow they always keep our gaze
we stare and stare and stare as our eyes melt into oblivion
the cities fade and the wind calms....
and somehow, we all walk away changed.

I am in Montana!

2007-08-06T12:40:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone, so I am finally here in Montana!
I wish I could think of something to write other than that but i am just so excited about being here that I cannot think of anything else to say! Here is something i wrote the other day, so i will leave it here for you to read...

So, the story is...everytime I doubt God, I am ruthlessly and yet humbly brought back to that sweet place where I learn to trust
once again. Obedience seems to be the theme of my being in Montana. I used to associate "obedience" with a feeling of resistance towards something that I want more than what is"right"... Almost as though is I am in a place where I am just" trying to be obedient", then perhaps that could mean I actually deep down want to do the very thing that is disobedient. I have been thinking alot about this lately and so hopefully that can excuse the roughness in my sentence structure...hopefully you will see my heart in this all. I guess my point is this: To be in a place of "walking in obedience" lately feels more refreshing than ever because i no longer see it as a place of resistance and in a sense being pulled along for the ride, but rather I see it as a place of extreme growth, maturity, and just simply saying yes to whatever God has for me. thats it, that is the story...In all honesty my initial thoughts of coming back to montana were thoughts in which God would have to tie me to a rope and pull me behind Him to get here...not because i didnt want to be here...i dont really know why to tell you the truth...but what I can tell you is it has never felt so good to be in this place where trusting Jesus is the only thing I have to give. It just feels right....I wake up everyday thinking..God, I just want you, I just want to be with you and hear what your heart is saying and walk out what you are speaking to me about. I am here.... complete with the road burn from the rope dragging episode and all, and i am LOVING IT.

"rich or poor, God I want you more"- charlie Hall

a few pics from jamaica

2007-07-18T21:08:00.000-07:00

Back from Jamaica, mon!

2007-07-17T20:01:00.000-07:00

Well i am back from a week mission trip to Jamaica.
I can honestly say that this was one of the most powerful short term
trips i have ever been on. Before heading to Jamaica I kind of had in my mind an idea that a 1 week trip couldnt do much (as i am used to going on trips much longer) however God BLEW me away and humbled me beyond my imagination.I was blessed to work with the youth from my church, they really modeled for me the beauty of simplicty. I soo enjoyed leading a small group of girls that were and are still so hungry for Jesus. So hungry to know the heights and depths of His love and his presence in their lives. While in Jamaica our group had the opportunity to work on building a church as well as ministering to precious little ones in an orphanage in Mandeville.
We had the opportunity to visit an infirmary and meet people who despite their physical conditions, still had a love for God that no physical defect or abnormality could taint...it was amazing to see the Holy Spirit work in their lives in such away that i am convinced no one could walk away from this place and remain the same.
God is doing something amazing in the infirmary in Mandeville! He is there and is working in the lives of many. Oh man, i could share so many stories of God's faithfulness on this trip... i think the one thing that sums them all up, is this line from the song by Chris Tomlin called "Your Grace is enough" and the line is this: Great is Your love and justice God You use the weak to lead the strong . It still blows me away every single time, that even in my most extreme moments of doubt and insecurity and feelings that i will never measure up, God still uses me in ways that I seriously cannot fathom!!! What an incredible God we serve! I cannot wait to post a few pics as soon as i getmy camera up and running! But until then, I pray that whoever reads this will truely truely know how deep and how wide God's love for you is...it never runs out, runs away or runs dry...

**I leave to head back to Montana in 1 week!**

time flies!

2007-06-12T11:38:00.000-07:00

*Just a Brief Update*

I have been home for about hmm..2 months now! WOW time flies!
I have had the opportunity this summer to babysit for 2 families
as well as visit friends and family in South Carolina! Working with
the youth in my church has been incredibly amazing. I am looking
forward to going to Jamaica with them, as I have seen SUCH a heart
of compassion that God is developing in many of them! We leave so soon!!

**LEAVING in 23 Days!**

Another thing about being home:

It seems as though God has been stripping away many of my
unrealistic expectations of myself and of what"Missions" really is.
Last Sunday at church I had the opportunity to put up a board that
displayed my heart for missions and the ministry I am involved in.
During that time, I was able to talk to several people about missions
and specifically the role that God has me in. I think lately I have had
this "glamourized view" of missions and that I have to love everything
that I do at every moment and if i dont love it, then something is wrong.
I realized for the first time on Sunday that I dont have to LOVE everything that I am doing,just LOVE God and LOVE the people he surrounds me with. This statement seems quite simple and rather familiar for all of us, yet Sunday was a day that will forever be marked in my heart as the day God revealed to me what true obedience is. I realized that i have no obligation to love everything that i do or every place that i go, but to walk in obedience to what God has called me to. This obedience thing has been a struggle lately. I have felt like I have wrestled with many things in my heart and mind. And yet during this whole wrestling period one thing remains truth: obedience brings intimacy--this road has not been easy, but my relationship with Jesus has never felt more genuine and more intimate. I love this God that we serve, and I truely want to see nations come to love Him too...It is my desire to be outrageously honest with where I am at in my relationship with Jesus; i believe honesty brings us one step closer to obedience--bringing us closer to intimacy. Hopefully I can get some pictures up here soon! Have a wonderful week yall!

Jerusalem Project

2007-06-10T12:58:00.000-07:00

Next week the youth are going to be a part of a mission trip here in town! The trip is entitled "The Jerusalem Project"--> coming from Acts 1:8. The youth are incredibly excited as am I that we have the opportunity to partner with ministries here in our hometown! I will post details during the week and some in action pictures!!

thailand...the land of smiles

2007-05-14T12:42:00.000-07:00

someone sent this picture to me the other day and it is of me
on a cliff in Ko Samet, Thailand....as i was looking at this picture i
remembered that it was in this exact place at this exact moment
that God spoke to me about what He was calling me to do for
the rest of my life...how awesome that this moment was
captured!!!

could you imagine...

2007-04-29T10:24:00.000-07:00

could you imagine if we were in the habit of praying so regularly that
it became habit...

Jeremiah

2007-04-27T20:26:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite songs has always been this one...(taken from Lamentations 3:22-24)

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases
His mercies never come to an end
They are new every morning, new every morning
Great is thy faithfulness oh Lord, Great it thy Faithfulness"

Not only are these words powerful in and of themselves, but how much more powerful and humble and raw are they coming from the mouth of a prophet who has seen sin at its ugliest, and experienced loneliness at its depths; who has essentially, felt the burden of the world.
And yet still in all of this, believes in a God that will fight for him. Believes in a God that will not let him go, believes in a God that believes in Him!

Being home has been absolutely amazing. I have enjoyed spending time with family and visiting friends and getting more involved in my church. Today I was reminded of the faithfulness of God. I think another way of saying that God is faithful is by saying God believes in His people, believes in who they are as individuals created by Him. This is a simple yet timeless truth that completely changed how I viewed life today. It is beyond me to think about how God is a God who believes in Me! I often times just think about how I believe in God...or not even that! I just believe in Him. But to think about how God believes in me--in who I am, blows me away. That means he believes that I can accomplish the goals I have set before me, that means he believes that I can do things that I would never imagine as even being attainable goals...that means he loves who I am...that means he is all about the things I am all about...More and more I am realizing the value of belief...the value of one believing in another...the value of faith in a person, in who they are and what they are about.

Home Sweet Home: North Carolina

2007-04-17T21:45:00.000-07:00

Well here I am! Currently in North Carolina, I cannot help but admire the incredibly green grass and blue skies! (Sounds like the beginning of a country song eh?)So to catch many of you up, last year spent the year in Taiwan staffing the School of Biblical studies with YWAM. (More details in last months newsletter) Following Taiwan I went back to the YWAM base in Montana to have a bit of a "furlow" and to reconnect with friends and family as well as serve in the critical services area on the base. After being in Montana for 3 refreshing months, I am now in North Carolina for 3 more months for a time of itineration in which i will be able to visit supporters as well as serve in my church as a youth leader. I am very excited for this time and see it as a springboard for heading back into the School of Biblical Studies department with new supporters and friends; new joys and memories, new goals and passions! I will try to be regular in posting new/current news with me!